Sunday, May 2, 2010


    I'll tell ya how much, darnit I'm building an altar for him in my living room.  Right next to the guy who (in an elegantly snookered fashion), followed a girl home after a job one night, (No, I'm NOT telling you who this was.). Good GOD...he ended up doing the horizontal jiggy with SQUEAKY FROMM.  Apparently..upon awakening he thought "wowie...she looks sorta familiar...what with that red hair...gee...lots a cute little freckles there. Have i BEEN with her before?"  So out to the kitchen our dauntless lover boy toodles, digs in her wallet to see if he can enlighten himself.  ohhh 
BOY, discovers  the name Lynette Fromm on her driver's license. My two searing questons upon hearing this startling news are:
1. - Did Squeaky in fact SQUEAK during said act of impropriety?

      I don't think any of us can live up to that one. I had a COUPLE of funny escapades, but I was rarely SINGLE when traveling, so my road romps were limited.  Believe me, I'm a lot sorrier about it than YOU are.  Course my band mates DID make me play "six degrees of Tuli Kupfergerg" in the van, (AH GOD...please don't make me do it with the guy who wrote "Cacca Rocka". PLEASE. I'm sure he's a VERY nice man, but
    Speaking for myself, I can confidently say this:  The small windows of opportunity which contain the Vardzie dating chronicles, have NO encounters with ALMOST PRESIDENTIAL ASSASINS.  Not a ONE.  If YOUR dating chronicles DO, please ring me up...because this information would bring me no END of giggles galore. 
     WHAT THE LIVING ...what am I SAYING?  DATING?  I've never been on a conventional DATE in my LIFE.  Darn.  Feel like a freak now.   
     That reminds me...what's up with the gals who MARRY the death row guys?  "OHHHH he's so NIIIICE."   WHAT?  he's NICE did ya say?  The SERIAL KILLER?  He's.....oh SURE he is...Geez looowwwEEEZE. HEY>>>>wasn't I talking about my true love DUNKLEMAN?  sorry. 

    Sooo...on the OTHER side of Dunkleman's altar (ohh, he's going to settle in so nicely), is the Pete Best altar. Lovely place for him... I mean, he kind of IS the American Pete Best.  Course the stoopid and annoying Idol thing ain't hanging in the same universe with the FAB FOUR...gosh what're you THINKING? But.... STILL, turning down THAT kind of easy dough ...because it was the RIGHT thing to do (and it sure WAS)...DAMMM.  GOOD BOY. Proud of ya.

What the heck you all laughing at?  I'll have you know old  PETE'S very existance, is the only thing that keeps me MOVIN'.
    So do you guys think Pete's wife smacks him upside his head every single morning?

 "ahhh wha kindeh pooftah name's the bee-els,  ye bunch a nancy boys?  SHITE. gotta put de loaves in"

     Pete Best is the barometer against which I compare any painful, boring, fearful, or weepy moments in life. Sort of like when I used to force my tone-deaf roomate Connie to sing for me when i was down so far it looked like up.  Only better. NO, I was NOT mean to my pal Connie, because SHE got to watch me try to do that curl thing with your tongue, and sit in the lotus position without toppling over, AND view me playing really clumsy tennis. Oh allright. Not PLAYING..more like tripping, and falling down. 

     YUP.  No matter how bad it matter how dreary our live are looking, we can look to Pete. Yes...even during the darkest time, just before that decidedly UN-ROSY FINGERED dawn fails to come up, guess WHAT?  WE can count on Mr. Best.  Smack dab in the middle of CR** we are, but at least, we can bravely conjure up THIS soothing thought :
" HUH.  um. OK....BUT I was never, ever, EVER..."ALMOST" A BEATLE." 
 Holy COW...THAT'S gotta smart.  
 You all may borrow Pete if you'd like. I know he'd be amenable.  Look how he serves as a point the way, as we stumble down dark streets without the flashlight.    Bless his heart.

there. i said it. 

     GO AND RUN TO TABLOID BABY, to see other assorted and sundry delights, and take a gander at the way our beloved Dunkleman was just horribly dissed.  Oh Brian, take heart. We've all got PETE.
Go to FROZEN PICTURES as well. 

     You'll find the fun, but there are important things contained therein. 
Truths, and things they will never stop digging in.
Things that might be hard to face, but SHOULD be looked at without flinching.  PAY ATTENTION FOLKS,  That is if you've got ANY moral compass or compassion on ya. 
LOOK AT THE LINK AT THE TOP OF MY PAGE, GO to Brett's Blog, look in those kind, and courageous eyes, and HELP to spread the word. I'm going to post this statement again. Who's gonna stop me?

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